Do you have a dream? Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve it. Ever.
I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. From the first moment I could think I knew what I wanted to be. At first I couldn’t identify a single word for it, but I showed it through my actions. Anyone hurt? You can bet that I was there to help the best I could. Blood in sight? Who cares. Let me see it! Any way I could help? I’d be the first one to volunteer. When I went to school I was finally able to voice it in a game we played called, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I wanted to be a doctor.
Science fascinated me. Health enchanted me. I soaked in everything I could about the subjects and spoke to all the teachers I could. Either my parents were extremely lucky to have such a well-behaved and focused daughter, or I was extremely lucky in having the most supportive parents I could ever ask for. I’m pretty sure that both have played a positive role in my life 🙂
I believe that I exhausted all the availabilities at my primary and middle school. I can’t say that my experience there was wonderful (or even good), but I did do the best I could with what I had. I had some particularly influential teachers who helped point me down the right path and, most importantly, make me aware of a relatively new high school that was “right up my alley.” Thank goodness because I had refused to go to my home school.
Ah, my high school… I would relive those years over and over again if I could. I was challenged there, the most I’d ever been. It’s focus was in science (and math) so it fit my personality extraordinarily well. My counselor encouraged me to apply to a biomedical research program, which I took advantage of all four summers. If you are potentially considering a career in medicine (or in anything for that matter), I have one solid piece of advice: Experience all you can in all the programs available to you. Let them aid you in figuring out if this field is where you will truly be happy. Internships. Volunteer positions. Jobs. PARTICIPATE.
I am certain that the experiences I had there helped me gain entrance to a prestigious undergraduate institution. Well that and luck. (Why luck? I applied last minute “just to see” if I could get in. I never thought I actually would.)
The first two years at college were very difficult to me. I dealt with a lot of home-sickness and trouble with my academics. Here’s a second piece of advice: If you ever find that you need help in anything, ASK FOR IT. Right away. Just do it. No shame in it.
I continued to try and experience as many things as I could while in college. Some of the more notable events were joining a Jewish Acapella group, participating in the Junior-Varsity Crew Team, becoming an RA for the international housing floor, and cycling across the country for the ACS. By the end of my college years, I had brought up my academics to a “decent” level (ie, what is considered “decent” for medical school applications, anyhow).
Now here’s the thing. Throughout my time in college, I had gone to my advisors for guidance and over and over I was told the same thing.
“Maybe this path isn’t for you. Have you considered other career options?”
or
“Your application is not strong enough. You won’t make it in. Consider other alternatives.”
I tell you. Every time I heard those phrases, my soul died a little. Yours might have also if you are in the same position. Here’s the thing… don’t give up.
When faced with a potentially bad (very bad) situation, there are two things you can do. You can give into it or you can look at it for its face value and figure out how to make it a good situation. I did both, although my fiercely stubborn pride forbade me from giving in at the end.
I decided from those moments on that (a) I knew what I wanted and there wasn’t anything that would stop me, and, (b) the more people would tell me, “You can’t,” the more I would show them I COULD.
I persisted. I went to the pre-health advisors and told them, “I know this is what I’m meant to do. My heart is not in anything else. I will get there, but I need your help. How can I move forward?”
Moving forward, for me (and this may likely vary with differnt people), included pursuing a Master’s program directly aimed at helping to improve the academics and helping to get students gained admission into medical schools. I cannot stress enough the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are willing to see you for what you are worth and who are willing to support you EVERY step of the way. Get to know these people. Network with them. Contribute to them. Be willing to put more than your best foot forward.
(I just want to insert, at this point, that I also took the time to explore myself further – while contributing to a worthy cause – and cycled across the country in an effort to raise funds in the fight against cancer, spread hope, and unite communities. I learned so much about myself and am so glad I did something as crazy as that. So yes. More advice: Do something totally outside of your comfort zone, your “box.” Experience something and learn all you can about yourself from it.)
The funny thing about attempting to achieve your “dream” is that roadblocks seem to continually pop up when you least expect them. Be prepared for this.
On completion of my Master’s, I was allowed to (and encouraged to!) apply for the coming medical school application cycle. I wrote the personal statement (an incredibly difficult task!), filled out the appropriate forms, completed all finaincial aid-related documentation, and hoped for the best. Lo and behold! I managed to obtain two interview invites. I was ecstatic.
And, on my first interview, I was also sick. I had a fever, I had lost my voice and most of my hearing, and was freezing cold. The interview day seemed a nightmare though I gave it the best shot I could. I did my best to feel confident, to be confident. Then came the first question:
Why do you want to become a doctor?
I froze. I could not speak. I panicked. I choked. Badly.
I gave up. And they knew it. And I knew it. I sincerely thanked them for their time, apologized for my performance and left the office knowing that I had “blown it.” But, the thing was… I accepted it.
I walked around the campus – hey, I was already there anyhow! Then I came back to the admissions office and was suprised to discover that staff had been looking for me.
They want to give you one more chance. They know there are bad days. Are you willing to do a 2nd-try in two hours??
Joy of joys! I interviewed (a second time) and I performed the way I should have the first time around. (Note: Apparently this is an extreme rarity, so don’t count on it.)
Happy ending, right? Nope. I was waitlisted and told that I just didn’t have enough points under the “interviewing” section of the day to get me into the class. I was also told that my MCAT was “worrisome.” Le sigh.
Second interview… I did the best I could. Again though, the interview sent me crashing much like the way a cyclist does when she accidentally hits the front brake while riding downhill hard. Ouch.
So what’s a person to do? Unfortunately, I fell into a bit of a “sad spell” for a few months. I didn’t quit trying, oh no, but my confidence in myself had been degraded to such a degree that it took all the introspection and reflection I had to push myself along the process for a second time. And really, now that I think about it, that’s good. Life can get very difficult sometimes, but you push through it. Don’t stop working, or trying something new. Keep going. The second you give up… THAT’S when it’s over.
Speaking of continuing to do something, I went on to work “in the real world” after completing the Master’s. I knew that I wanted to do something relevant to my Master’s (MHS in Reproductive and Cancer Biology) and I wanted to try giving research another chance (clinical, this time). I found a perfect combination in a role as Clinical Research Coordinator in the Pediatric Oncology department at a local children’s hospital near home. For the next two years (yes, it really did take that long after school to get back into school), I learned how to run studies, build studies from scratch, learn all there was to know about the IRB process, and (most importantly) have daily contact with physicians, patients, and familes of patients.
Do you believe that all things happen for a reason and that all things are as they should be when they need to be? I know its hard to believe it, especially with more disastrous situations (I mean really, what is the reason for a child starving or being forced into war???), but I do believe it. I believe that the reason shows up at one point or another, and that things eventually.. in some way, shape, or form, make sense. I’m not saying leave everything up to fate, but I am saying that, aside from doing all you can to change a situation, trusting in that change is especially important.
In retrospect, holding that position was the best thing I could have done for myself. Think about it. I was dealing with sensitive issues with people from all walks of life on a daily basis. Like it or not, I had to learn more about the psychosocial aspects of people. Body language. The sound of the voice. Eye contact. Posture. The words that were used. Everything I encountered during that time helped make me a better person. And you know what? It also helped me during the next set of interviews I was invited to.
When I began my second round of applications, I had turned to my pre-health advisor for help. I thank many, many people during this process, but I especially thank him because he kept my spirits up and guided me ever so well during the process. There were issues he discussed with me that just wouldn’t have been able to be handled by any other person. It made all the difference. I hope he knows just how valuable his work is and just how much of a difference he is making in the lives of so many students.
So interviews. I received two of them and flew to one of them within a week of finding out about the invitation. I know I blundered and stuttered. It was only human. Again, expect this. And be okay with it. (I was waitlisted there).
Second interview – I had to wait a month and a half to attend because of the demand for the school. At this point, I had all but stopped caring about “what might happen” and decided to just tell them,
“This is me! I have much to give. Just give me a chance. Believe in me!”
It was the most difficult interview I had ever had. “Stressful” doesn’t even begin to cover it. But… I got in!
The University of Illinois College of Medicine believed in me the way I believed in myself. I have so much to learn and I cannot emphasize how excited and honored I am to begin. Classes begin tomorrow (8/24/09).
Yes. I dare to dream.
And you should too.
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